Chapter 4: Gaslighting & Abusive Relationships

I don’t know about you, but I feel like gaslighting is a hot topic right now. Maybe it’s just because my social media algorithms know what I am struggling with at the moment. Regardless, I have had gaslighting on the brain for a while now.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I believe that mental and emotional abuse are the most problematic. They are silent killers – since they are literally invisible to the outside world. Physical bruises can be spotted without much difficulty, but emotional trauma is not as noticeable.

When I was walking through the gaslighting thought, I was transported to the moment I realized I had just escaped from an abusive relationship. This moment hit me like a ton of bricks. Felt like my world had just become very unsteady.

Abusive relationships are tricky. One of the questions people usually ask is why did you stay so long? That is a difficult one to answer, as there is usually a complicated mess that goes along with it… Abuse is nuanced. It is difficult for outsiders to see, and therefore difficult for them to believe sometimes – which causes a lot of stress and anxiety for the victim. Sometimes there are other factors included in the decision to stay – ie children or finance issues. Sometimes, as in my case, it took a long time for me to come to that inescapable conclusion – I need out and this is situation is not ok.

If you need help, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline or your local provider. Their phone number is 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) – they are available 24/7. Or you can text them by texting “START” to 88788.