Excessive Absences
Man, so much has happened since I wrote last. My last post was from December 2021! Since then, we have gone to NC twice, registered Reagan for high school, partially started the potty training process, celebrated all 3 little Stus’ birthdays, and been summoned to the School Board because of excessive absences. It’s been quite the adventurous start to the year.
The Attendance Policy
Let’s talk about those “excessive absences”. Our district has, what I think, is the craziest attendance policy. Each student is allowed 5 parent notes per year. Now, that sentence doesn’t sound ridiculous until you find out that 1 parent note is equal to 1 day. And a student may not use more than 3 consecutive parent notes.
So, the last week of school in December, Reagan was sick. She came down with a fever on Sunday and kept that fever until Thursday. Per normal school rules, I kept her home on Friday too, since that would have been under that 24-hour-fever-free-with-no-medicine policy. Now, I did not take Reagan to the doctor. She had no other symptoms, just a fever, in the 100-101 range. She basically slept that entire week away.
On Saturday morning, Remy had a raging fever. 102ish. Because he is only 3, we called the pediatrician and took him in. He tested positive for the flu.
Riley popped a fever on Sunday.
I may not be a doctor, but common sense tells me the big kids had the flu too. All the same symptoms, almost the exact same length of illness too.
So, when school opened up in January, I sent a note in saying that Reagan had the flu and wished her to be excused from that week of school.
A few weeks later, end of January, I went to the school around 2pm to pick Reagan up for a dermatology appointment. The secretary at the front desk informed me that she needed to talk to me about the note I wrote weeks ago. She explained that Reagan had already used 4 parent notes, and she only had one left.
I said, “Ok, use the one she has left for that week.”
She said, “Oh no. That’s not how they work. A parent note is only good for one day.”
I said, “That is stupid policy. She had a fever. I wrote that. You should accept it.”
She replied, “You wrote ‘she had the flu.’ Did you take her to the doctor? How do you know she had the flu?”
Now, I am really annoyed. This conversation is taking place in the lobby of the school with other parents and students around. I said, “I did not take her to the doctor. She had a fever all week. A day after she was fever-free, her baby brother came down with a fever, and I did take him and he tested positive. Then another sibling tested positive for the flu. Then my husband. Common sense prevailed and makes me think Reagan was patient zero and started that whole crappy month.”
Secretary held firm. She said, “It’s a shame you didn’t take her to the doctor. A doctor’s note would have covered the entire week, and we would not be having this conversation.”
I said, “I am not, and will probably never be, the kind of mom that runs to the doctor every time my child has the slightest illness. Fevers are normal. I refuse to pay my copay each time one of them is too sick for school. However, I will send them to school sick. And you guys can call me to come pick them up.”
Of course, I will leave them at the school for at least 51% of the day.
Meeting at the School District for the Excessive Absences
I got real tired of that conversation and asked what the next step was. She told me we would be contacted by an AD. Ok. Fine. Whatever.
Well, about a month later we received letters in the mail. Stu and I, along with Reagan and Riley, were required to attend some attendance meeting at the school board. We went. My blood was boiling. It was essentially a “scared straight” program, complete with a freaking judge. They lectured everyone on the attendance policy, and let everyone in the room know that this would be the one and only curtesy meeting for the duration of our child(ren)’s enrollment in the district. The next step would be filing educational neglect on us with the city court.
It did not take long to find out that 90% of the parents in the room felt the way I did – this is utter garbage. Apparently, that stupid parent note policy hasn’t always been that way. It used to be a parent note covered the duration of absence, not a single day.
And another mother asked if they have noticed an uptick in the number of families being called in since COVID. The attendance officer admitted that there have been “so many more of these meetings” she’s had to coordinate this year. The mother pointed out that when we all “social distanced” we hurt our immune systems, and now that the kids are all back together, they are sharing germs. And more kids are getting sick. But being too sick for school is most often not sick enough for the doctor. The attendance officer didn’t want to comment on this… you could tell she was uncomfortable with that point. Perhaps the rules should be reevaluated – particularly the parent note rule.
So, nothing was accomplished. I had to sign a paper that said that I understand if either child misses one more day this year (without a doctor note), they will file against me and Stu at the court.
As we were driving away from that meeting, Stu said, “Well, where should we move now?”
